Every time a pastor is preaching about the Proverbs 31 woman, every man, even those who are still growing in their mother’s wombs stand still to listen. These young unborn men throw their kicks in agreement that every born again man deserves a Proverbs 31 kind of woman. Grown up men yearn to go home and find this woman who is of much more worth than rubies or the most expensive garment in their wardrobe. Those seeking to marry fast and pray like never before seeking the Holy Spirit to guide them as they “find” her. After all, it’s not good for a man to be alone and whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from God.
Where I come from, Proverbs 31 woman is referred to as “MUTUMIA NGATHA”. She is described as a woman who wakes up very early in the morning to prepare breakfast for her husband, wash his clothes and who manages the household. Such a woman doesn’t need just any other man in her life but a strong man. A strong man is not defined my muscles (they are good though), he is not defined by how tall, dark and handsome he is but by his character. Developing a character to befit a Proverbs 31 woman requires Jesus who is the author and perfecter of our faith.
Who is the ideal man for the Proverbs 31 woman? To answer this I focused on Ephesians 5 and there I found this man. I called him the Ephesians 5 Man.
1. He walks in the way of love, he is selfless and he leads sacrificially
Ephesians 5:2 says…”And walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God…”
The life of the Ephesians 5 man should resemble that of Jesus Christ. He should derive his servant leadership skills from the person of Jesus Christ. Love calls for us to deny ourselves and help those who are in need. This young man should seek to give selflessly and with joy. He should give his time, material things and himself to the service of mankind. Phillip Holmes, one of the content writers in Desiring God said that a man who walks in love does not seek to be served but instead he serves sacrificially just like Jesus Christ did. If you are seeking to be an ideal man for the Proverbs 31 woman, you must be willing to lead sacrificially. You must be a servant leader to your family first and to the community at large.
2. He walks in Purity
Ephesians 5:3. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity…..because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
The Ephesians 5 man is not the kind that sleeps with a chain of ladies neither does the Proverbs 31 woman sleep with other men. This man has purposed to walk in purity and he presents his wife to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Young man, are you willing to present your wife in the day of marriage as holy and blameless? You must model to walk in purity. The Ephesians 5 man is the kind that does not stand in the path of the wicked but walks in the light; he delights himself in reading, meditating and observing God’s law. His heart is sold out to one lady, he is not featured in the famous Mafisi Sacco, and neither is he trending in the new episodes of sponsorship. How can men waiting for Proverbs 31 women keep themselves holy? They can only achieve this by reading God’s word and by praying (this is not exhaustive).
3. He is Wise
Ephesians 5:4. “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place….”
Have you ever been in a gathering of young men and all they talk about is cheap and out of place jokes? Well it may depend with the age but am addressing those men who are about to marry or who are married. How do you feel? Well, the Ephesians 5 man does not give in to such foolish or coarse words; instead he is wise in his speech and words, the kind that no man can refute. He studies and accumulates knowledge and above all he earnestly seeks God to bless him with wisdom for it is He who giveth wisdom. He is able to handle situations and make informed decisions whenever necessary. Refer to “Why men need visions and dreams by Myles Munroe
4. He Loves His Wife and Makes Her Holy
Ephesians 5:26….to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word
The Ephesians 5 man understands his roles very well, the priestly role. How can a man make his wife holy? He achieves this by studying the word of God and teaching the same through the guidance of the Holy Spirit to his wife. He must immerse himself into God’s word, study the word daily and listen to men of God whom he has called to teach and preach His word. Discern!! BEFORE YOU LISTEN. The Ephesians 5 man does not rely on the pastor’s preaching on Sunday but he plays his role by praying for his wife and teaching her God’s word. Note: Am not by any chance saying going to church is wrong but am saying that it is not enough. You must study the word of God daily at home. How will you be an ideal man for a Proverbs 31 woman if you can’t teach God’s word to her or your children? Refer: Deuteronomy 6:5-9
5. He Makes His Wife Adorable
He cares for his wife just as he cares for his own body. The Ephesians 5 man knows the favorite fashions for his wife; he knows the best beauty products for her, the best colognes/perfumes. Songs of songs 5:3 …..”Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon…..” I tend to think these lips must have had lipstick or lips’ gloss on them. Dude do you want your wife to be like a lily among the thorns and unique among the young women? You must make her look adorable; you must take care of her. Go to the gym together, jog with her, jump rope with her……. Ephesians 5: 28…..husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies….29……but they feed and care for their body…. 33….each of you must love his wife as he loves himself…..
Think of Jesus Christ‘s love to the church…..he died on the cross at Calvary because he loved us…
Young men, how much do you love your wives? Can you sacrifice anything for her, your precious time and resources? Can you immerse yourself into God’s word because you want to make her holy by teaching her God’s word? Will you love her as you love your own body?
By Ng’ang’a Kamande